Nobody Wants This - Conversion Conversations

The show Nobody Wants This is something I have personally connected with and it's made me revisit some important conversations about that particular period of my life. I have had incredible insights and I think, even if you're not in a similar relationship situation, there are tons of vital conversations to be had.

Two of the biggest soul-searching questions in a relationship dealing with faith-based conversion is:
1) Will you love me regardless of my religious status?
And...
2) Would I still be a part of the faith if we were not in the relationship?

If the answer to both questions is yes, you're on the right track.

Regardless of conversion:
1) Ask yourself if you could choose this religion for yourself, would you? Do other religions spark interest?
2)Talk to your partner about where you are in your faith, where you would like to be, and if they're on the same page.


People make a lot of assumptions about converting while dating but no one sees the struggles behind closed doors.
Just because I love the man, doesn't mean I don’t want the religion for myself.
Just because I love the religion doesn't mean that first question doesn't nag at my soul and pick at my brain like a festering wound... can you love me for who I am right now, without the condition of converting? Why isn't who I am right now enough? Do you truly love ME if you can only have me if I convert? How much of myself am I willing to sacrifice or change?

No matter how beautiful the relationship, and how wonderful the answers, the pressure and those questions weighed heavily on my mind until finally the existential crisis unraveled my mental health completely. Pushing through every storm, suppressing tears behind a dam that was bound to break, because I know the path is true and the life I've always dreamed of lies ahead. Feeling guilty about not feeling connected because I was in the middle of a crisis and numbed myself, didn't help.

But faith isn't about feeling happy or connected all the time, it's about having faith in the process, that everything will work out as it's meant to... true love shows up even when it's hard... it's commitment, knowing what's right and sticking to it... choosing to see the good, even on your bad days.

While I would have loved a classroom setting or more structured guidance, so much of my conversion was what I did myself... and I guess that's fitting considering how I started early on was through self-determined exploration.

The hurdles were real and it's truly not for the weak of heart. I was always in it for the long haul and my questions, concerns, and criticisms were never because I don't care, but rather I care so much that I want to understand the religion and myself, while improving upon both in the process...

But it's a process nonetheless, and one that will continue forever...
I went from resenting rabbinical authority about their ruling on chicken and cheese, to wanting to make the holidays more festive and spiritually fulfilling, and wanting to create my own Jewish holidays... there's always something more to explore and get excited about.

I can go on and on about my experience with the conversion process, but maybe I'll save that for another day.

For now, I'm still working on a few exciting things and I'll provide updates when things are more solid. 😊✡️🥰

-Erica

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