Fulfillment In Fun

I've been thinking about what it means to feel fulfillment in adulthood.

I think who you are as a child is who you are in your purest form. You aren't trying to be cool or impress anyone, you aren't stressed about anything; you are just you, playful and carefree, curious, imaginative, creative.

And I think to feel fulfillment is to be able to feel like a kid again. Sure, you still have work/bills/responsibilities and you still feel stress. But you have the freedom to do whatever you want on your down time. You can laugh, play, explore, do hobbies... you are free to be truly yourself.

I know this is gonna seem like a 180, but stay with me... I think about death a lot. It used to scare me and would often send me into an existential crisis spiral, but lately, it's been making me want to embrace that inner child of mine and live as fully as possible.
I strive to express my love to maximum capacity as if it's my last moment with you, the one I'll always remember.

I want to live like a child plays: full speed ahead.

I've spent so much time overanalyzing every mistake and flaw. While it's important to do so, I think I've done enough tearing myself apart that it's finally time to start healing and start having some fun.

The unexamined life is not worth living, but life requires balance. A joyous life is worth investing in as much as an examined life. That's not to say that the examination isn't joyous; in fact, these days, all the examinations I've done have made every morsel of life a heightened experience. I have such an exuberance for even the tiniest things because life is so precious and beautiful.

People like to say, "we're not human beings having a spiritual experience, we're spiritual beings having a human experience." I think about that quote from time to time. I used to think it was so profound. When you're trying to connect with all things spiritual, it's a great reminder that you ARE spirit and that this physical human experience is only a piece of your soul's journey.

That being said, I've been trying to embrace the flip side... the human experience part... My soul specifically chose to live this human life and I want to try to connect to it as much as possible. I want to embrace each part of this human life and try to remember that I'll never get to experience this day again so I should make the most of it while I have it.

I think of that movie About Time. Towards the end, his dad reveals that at the end of the day he goes back to the morning and relives each day knowing the outcome, that he'll be okay, and can live it again and just have fun... well I try to live like that 2nd time... just fun and appreciation.

Okay, I'm rambling, as I usually do, but I think it's time to cut myself off.

I'll leave you with a simple reminder to have more fun, enjoy all aspects of this life as much as you can.

-Erica

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